Page last updated 12/28/2020 05:40 PM Picture was taken Sunday, May 05, 2002 at
the Memorial for PJ LeGrande. Hi Dad Much gratitude to my
sister, Joni, and her very kind words regarding our family. Many of you are so
much like "family" and may be feeling much of what we feel about all
that has happened. Be assured that we ARE our parent's children and continue
to be a very close knit group. Knowing that we have your love and support, as
well, has been a Godsend to me and my siblings. The healing continues, with a
few glitches now and then. I also want to say "thankyou" to Doug,
and this site, for setting up a message forum for all of us. Doug, seeing all
these tributes to my dad, as well as my mom, is heartwarming and encouraging.
How proud I am to be a part of this family! JoaniE Thanks to all for your
kind tributes to my father. I was the 4th daughter born to John and his first
wife Eleanor, and I was raised by Peggy from age 3 to 43. It never ceases to
amaze me, the love and gratitude that seeps out through the souls of the lives
that John C. touched. I was grateful to have met him, talked with him, shared
in a third step prayer with him and others, and get to know and be a part of
the lives of some of the people closest to him. I will never forget what John
Carney did for me - for my sister. For her first experience at Asilomar, my
sister was overwhelmed with the acceptance and love that came from all
directions - namely, John. He welcomed her with open arms and asked her to
share her story at the final meeting. The energy that he put into making her
feel at home changed her in ways that even she may never know. That was the
life of John that I was able to experience and save as my own fond memories of
him. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to listen to his heartfelt
prayers and share in the love of God and of the program of AA that he so
boldly declared. His common phrase "How could a man like me become a man
like me?" is imbedded in my mind, as well as my heart. It is something
that I hope that I will never forget...that none of us forget. How DO men and
women like us BECOME men and women like us? By being living examples in the
same ways that John was. Pass it on. John Carney is the Love
of my life. Before meeting him you never could have convinced me it was possible
for such a man to exist. I'm not putting him on a pedestal, for believe me, he
was just as human as the rest of us, with is own share of shortcomings.
However he took his own inventory daily, and when he saw room for improvement
he made changes immediately. As he would always say, "We are not what we
do, We make the best decisions we can at the time, based on the information we
have. However it is our responsibility to gather new information and therefore
make better decisions, once the information has been gathered."
I know him a little different then some of you, only because I am and always
will be his Bride. The tender loving soft side of him, I have been blessed to
have experienced. As he said from the podium at a Speaker's Meeting at
Saturday Night Live, " I may be old, but I'm not dead." That
was certainly true at the time. Hi Daddy
John was taught and
nourished by a inner voice. John inspired me when I
was very young. I remember hearing him speak and being touched to my core by
his passion and zest for life and his reality that the sober life was worth
living. I went to meet him after the meeting, introduced myself: "I am
Susan, I only have 40 days, but I really liked what you said." He
immediately reprimanded me in a way that I will never forget, and in a way
that I pass on to every new comer I meet in AA: "DON'T you EVER say
'ONLY' when you are talking about your sobriety!" He made me realize at
that moment that every singular day - indeed every hour - of my sober life
"counted" and had value.
John took me aside one time and
prayed with me and shared some knowledge that I needed to hear. He was
a vessel of God at the time, that knew exactly what I needed. I wasn't
quite ready to hear what he shared with me, but I held on to it and
never forgot it. I needed to be told!
He told me
that as God's people, we never crawl before anyone, we simply pick up our
mats and walk.
When I had
the courage and the strength, God allowed me to leave a relationship, of
many years, that was very unhealthy for me.
Today I am
free! Thank you John for being the beginning stepping stone of my path
to freedom!
I have
learned how to be happy, joyous, and free thanks to the program of
Alcoholics Anonymous.
Now I get
the opportunity to grow, learn, help others, and absorb the Sunlight of the
Spirit.
I'm coming
to a revelation in my life right now that is heart felt for the first time,
instead of just plain HOPE: That I am a Child of God.
I'm still
struggling with whether or not God wants to keep me unharmed.
Uncovering, Discovering, and trying to Discard. It can be a daily
struggle as more is revealed.
My kids have
learned part of the "ism" of my disease. What took a
lifetime for them to learn is not going to disappear overnight. I just need
to not be discouraged, practice the principles and keep hoping that if it's
possible for all of you, then hopefully it's possible for them too.
Violence in not okay!
Yesterday I
learned that I'm growing. That God is teaching me that
the brighter things in life are possible for me.
If
I don't know what's healthy, then how am I supposed to know the
unhealthy part of me, that always seemed normal before.
That was all
I ever knew.
More to be
revealed.
It's a
process. Thank God for progress, not perfection.
Thank you
John and Peggy for sharing your wisdom with me, that eventually
allowed me the courage to begin the peeling of the onion, and slowly learn
to know the difference.
-Michelle Osborn
A GENTLE MAN WHO TOLD
IT LIKE IT IS, I WAS BLESSED TO ATTEND ONE CHRISTMAS AT THE CARNEY HOME, THE
GAMES AND THE LOVE WAS ALWAYS THERE, I'D SEE JOHN FROM TIME TO TIME AT
MEETINGS, IN 85 I DID THE GRAPEVINE COFFEE FOR A TIME, IT WAS FRIDAY NIGHT
MOORPARK AND LEIGH, THAT'S WHERE RECOVERY BEGAN FOR ME, IT WASN'T UNTIL I
RETURNED AFTER MUCH RESEARCH IN 95 THAT I WENT TO TEH SAT NIGHT LIVE, IT HAD
NOW MOVED TO BLACKSTONE HIGH SCHOOL, I WAS IN SUPPORT SYSTEMS AND THAT WAS ONE
OF THE MEETINGS WE WENT TO, IT WAS CLOSE, JOHN WAS ALWAYS ONE I LOOKED UP TO
AND ADMIRED, I CRIED TODAY READING SOME OF THE COMMENTS, GOOD TEARS THOUGH
CAUSE I KNOW JOHN IS THERE WITH MY OLD SPONSOR TOM OLSEN, THEY GOT A GREAT
GIG GOING ON UP THERE I JUST KNOW IT, THERE'S TO MANY OF US OLD ALCOHOLICS THERE TO NOT, YA KNOW? ANY WAY THE MEMORIES WILL STAY WITH ME FOREVER, THOSE
THEY CANNOT TAKE AWAY, THE THINGS I LEARNED THE LOVE SHARED, IN HIS HONOR AND
THE OTHERS BEFORE HIM I CAN ONLY PASS ON WHAT THEY TAUGHT ME! I emailed Doug tonight
regarding the memorial website to thank for his kind work.
John Was one of the
best examples of Practicing the principals in All of From Day One, John was
an enthusiastic member of the Fellowship. I remember him well in those
early days because he had an incredible enthusiasm and an open heart and
wasn't afraid to show it! He was into service from the gate. John
was never "too busy" to help another alcoholic. My life was
much easier when John was sponsoring any significant other or spouse of any of
my sponsees! He and Peggy were both so willing to share their home, their
time, their experience and their love with any and all who needed it. I
was saddened when John moved "above" Paradise as he told me! Now I
feel only gratitude that I got to know him and experience his presence on the
path of Happy Destiny. John was an example of walking like he talked; with
enthusiasm and confidence! I always learned something from him and continue to
do so. I often saw John at
meetings when I first got sober and he was usually asked to speak. From
the podium, I saw his beautiful spirit and his zest for life and the program.
He had great courage and compassion and I will always remember his booming
voice "bringing us home". He helped me to wamt to listen, to
learn and to keep coming back and I will always hold a piece of him in my
heart, My thoughts and prayers are with you, and all of us, his family, at SNL. John was one of my AA
heroes. Some may say we have no heroes, just
Dear Pop, The past few
years were hard for us, but come to think of it, so were the years you drank.
Thankfully, along with the hard times, there were those wonderful moments of
family stories that you shared while bbq-ing, the times you would cut my nails
and tried to bribe me to stop biting them, the times I could talk with you 1:1
or just sit there with you. I appreciate having you to love and having you love
me. I will miss your Roquefort dressing, your pies, enchiladas, and you.
John Carney was (and still is through
his lessons) a pivotal mentor for my sobriety. I will always think of Asilomar
and forgiveness when I think of John. Thanks go to his family for all of his
time they shared with us in recovery. Paradise has definitely lost a piece of
of Heaven. I would like to
first thank the person or persons who had this idea and saw it through. I
am one of the many people who have had their life changed as result of having
known John C. In fact he was my great grand sponsor and from almost my
very first day of sobriety my friend. He has played a part in my life for
12yrs and 11months which just so happens to be the amount of time I have been
sober. I will not try to tell any of my John C stories put you can be sure
I have my share. I will say it has always been good to know that I could
count on him when ever I have needed someone to go behind the veil with me.
He was not only willing to allow me to go behind his veil but went a step
farther and showed me he was willing to think outside the box. I know him
as a man who was not afraid of the truth. He was always willing to take
any idea or concept apart and talk about it with me. Our private and personal
conversations over the years have always been just what I needed at ! Aside from ALL he did for
everyone else. He brought wonderfully loving, giving, willing and strong
children into this world- Daniel, Johnnie, Vicki, Karen, Jaki, Joannie, and
Linda. My brother George would not be the awesome older brother whom I am very
proud of without Linda's strength, patience, perseverance and ongoing
unconditional love for all these years. My heartfelt condolences
go out to John's family. He was an inspiration to me. I sure will miss him! John made me move foward
in my recovery.He had something i wanted.the gift of sorbrity.When i got my 5th
year chip and spoke at the poudium,he said "he findly opened
up". I can not remember a time
at Saturday Night Live when John was not a vital cog and mentor. To me,
during the 30 years and more of my attendance there, his booming voice,
sometimes a boom and sometimes a thundering boom, sounded the following alarm to
me. NO MATTER HOW DRY, A LITTLE MORE SOBRIETY WOULD BE DAMN GOOD
INSURANCE. Although he appeared to
be bigger than life at the podium, this great man was never too big to talk to,
to reach out, to help, to love. When I was on my knees, he helped me back
up to my feet. I will never forget him, and I thank God for sharing him
with us while he was here. Thank you John for your
unselfish efforts to carry the message to those who still suffered. You taught
me a prayer a long time ago, one that you used and I use it to this day. John, Were it not for John and
Peggy, I would not be sober today. I met them at my very first AA meeting
in November 1978. It was the Saturday Night Couples meeting at Good
Samaritan. The meeting was held in the doctor's conference room.
Peggy made the cake for that meeting. Later, I became the cake maker.
A VERY important job. If fact, I got a speeding ticket trying to get the
cake to the meeting on time!
Me and my wife knew John from SNL
as a role model, speaker, and sponsor to many. We were saddened to hear of his
death. I would remember birthday night in December. Me and my sponsor have our
birthdays a day apart in December. My sponsor would get up and get his chip
and then I'd get my chip from him. But John would be up there four or five
times every birthday night. Or when he moved away, to Paradise I think, and
he'd come back and growl that he would never be a visitor to SNL. I remember
he mentioned that on his property there are 64 trees, and that rule 64 is
"don't take yourself to damn seriously." He's in a better place now.
We will all miss him.
Lee and
Charlotte Poland
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