Page last updated 12/28/2020 05:40 PM

  John C1.JPG (133670 bytes)

Picture was taken Sunday, May 05, 2002 at the Memorial for PJ LeGrande.
Click on the image to enlarge

Hi Dad
I just celebrated 14 yrs clean and then Thanksgiving. I've chaired a few meetings for my birthday and could feel you there. I know you're with mom and in a beautiful place with God but I sure miss you. There's been a lot of "firsts" for me because youre gone. I love you so much and miss you so much. So much of what you've have taught me and given me goes through my mind often.
You may be gone but never never forgotten. You will live forever in my heart and mind. SNL is planning a book for the 25th anniversary and they wrote to ask me about the history. I sent them what I remembered and so today you've been with me all day. Trying to get ready for Christmas and remembering all our Christmas's. I love you daddy, you'll always be my special angel. I love you too mom, I was reading some of the emails you sent me. You have the softest cheeks in the whole world. I still cant cook a turkey without wishing you were here. I'm doing really good and am grateful you're up there watching out for me.
Love you Judy

Much gratitude to my sister, Joni, and her very kind words regarding our family. Many of you are so much like "family" and may be feeling much of what we feel about all that has happened. Be assured that we ARE our parent's children and continue to be a very close knit group. Knowing that we have your love and support, as well, has been a Godsend to me and my siblings. The healing continues, with a few glitches now and then. I also want to say "thankyou" to Doug, and this site, for setting up a message forum for all of us. Doug, seeing all these tributes to my dad, as well as my mom, is heartwarming and encouraging. How proud I am to be a part of this family! JoaniE

Thanks to all for your kind tributes to my father. I was the 4th daughter born to John and his first wife Eleanor, and I was raised by Peggy from age 3 to 43.
  It has now been 5 months since Dad died and 5 years since Peggy died. My grieving has passed from the numb stage into really missing him and our moms.
   I have returned to this site for a second time just to share some facts that might help some of you who have run into some conflicting information and perhaps find yourself a little angry or confused.
  When our father died in March, Vicki and I assumed the role as co-trustees of his and our mother Peggy's living trust.  It required some fast planning of services and moving on to get his house ready to sell. We also had to start getting everything inventoried and valued so that Dad's accountant and lawyer could help us settle his estate and we are still working on that part.
   With their estate now co-owned by their 8 children (Dad did not add Mona to his will) it became necessary to help Mona pack and move. It was unfortunate that it had to happen so quickly, but Vicki & I were (and still are) accountable to all the beneficiaries for safeguarding all of our dad's belongings.  Mona found a place that she assured us would comfortably fit into her budget. Vicki and I then spent almost 200 hours in 2 weeks helping her pack and then others came for moving day. It all went very smoothly and we also set Mona up for 2 months in a local storage shed (she was going to have it put at her mom's in Sacramento) so that she would be able to go through her belongings at her own leisure to see what was worth keeping. We also gave her our Dad's 4-wheel drive truck (paid off and insured for a year) and a generous amount of cash to pay for a years worth of health insurance and other needs as she saw fit.
   Dad and Mona were married for 10 months. The Carney family sibling relationships are over 55 years old, so I think of us as a mature family in years. It would be a challenge for anyone to join such a group and instantly fit right in without the time to really get acquainted.  It is sad that Mona wanted to be part of our family so much and that it did not work out as she had hoped, but we are happy that she still has her own family and friends out there to love her.   Dad made sure her property in Arizona had the taxes all paid up, so she has that as a resource too.  I believe that our dad's generosity to Mona while they were married, and before, left her on good footing for a fresh start.
 I am satisfied that Mona left our family in good shape to get her new life started and I am glad to hear that she has recovered from some of her physical ailments and is looking healthier.
   Grieving is tough business, and it is always complicated for a while by things like having to move and losing almost everything familiar, but we are resilient, and so is Mona.
    My warmest regards to you all, and feel free to pass on this glimpse I have given you into some of what has transpired in our family in the passed 5 months.
.......Joni Lou

It never ceases to amaze me, the love and gratitude that seeps out through the souls of the lives that John C. touched. I was grateful to have met him, talked with him, shared in a third step prayer with him and others, and get to know and be a part of the lives of some of the people closest to him. I will never forget what John Carney did for me - for my sister. For her first experience at Asilomar, my sister was overwhelmed with the acceptance and love that came from all directions - namely, John. He welcomed her with open arms and asked her to share her story at the final meeting. The energy that he put into making her feel at home changed her in ways that even she may never know. That was the life of John that I was able to experience and save as my own fond memories of him. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to listen to his heartfelt prayers and share in the love of God and of the program of AA that he so boldly declared. His common phrase "How could a man like me become a man like me?" is imbedded in my mind, as well as my heart. It is something that I hope that I will never forget...that none of us forget. How DO men and women like us BECOME men and women like us? By being living examples in the same ways that John was. Pass it on.
 ........Kelly Harray

John Carney is the Love of my life. Before meeting him you never could have convinced me it was possible for such a man to exist. I'm not putting him on a pedestal, for believe me, he was just as human as the rest of us, with is own share of shortcomings. However he took his own inventory daily, and when he saw room for improvement he made changes immediately. As he would always say, "We are not what we do, We make the best decisions we can at the time, based on the information we have. However it is our responsibility to gather new information and therefore make better decisions, once the information has been gathered."                                I know him a little different then some of you, only because I am and always will be his Bride. The tender loving soft side of him, I have been blessed to have experienced. As he said from the podium at a Speaker's Meeting at Saturday Night Live, " I may be old, but I'm not dead."  That was certainly true at the time. 
 In the year's I had the privilege of being with John, first as a friend, then as a Love, then as his loving bride, never once did we argue or fight nor try to change each other. We allowed each other to be who we are and love each other how we loved. We honored each other's "God Power" and never did one of of us try or need to steal the other's. In my opinion living with him 24/7, John is the first human I've ever known to be the living, breathing, walking example of Corinthians 13:4-8.
"Love is patient and kind. Is not jealous or boastful, it is not arrogant or rude. Does not insist on it's own way; is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong doing, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things.     Love never fails.
I have learned so much from him and I am honored he chose me to be his Bride.
I fell in love with his whole family, never had I witnessed such closeness. It was how I'd always imagined a family to be. Unfortunately it was not possible for me to be part of the "Carney Clan" and to this day this saddens me. However I would not trade one second with John for anything in the world. We shared continuous unconditional love with one another and even in illness we were always happy and content to be by each other's side. Sharing Spirituality, 12 Stepping, watching Westerns and Old Classics, or just cuddling up together. He would always say he wasn't sure who was the Teacher and who was the student at at any given time.                                   
For all those who suffer the grief and the loss of this beautiful man, my heart and prayers go out to you. Not a day goes by where my heart doesn't ache and I just desire to be with him.
Thank you Doug, and the rest of the Carney Family who let this memorial site to be possible. I'm sure it helps a great many of us in healing our loss, by sharing with each other.

With Love and Gratitude,

Mona Carney
MonaCarney@sbcglobal.net                

Hi Daddy
Anthony is 28yrs old today. WOW! He was only 3 1/2 when you barged your way into my life hahahahhaa. Thank you for teaching me that recovery could and would fill that "aching hole" inside of me. I couldn't and wouldn't have been a good mom, friend of productive member of society without your help. Its one thing to freely give away what was freely given to you so that others can find sobriety and God, its above and beyond the call of duty to tell someone you need a Dad and I'm it!! Then actually walk that talk in every possible way. Thank you for 12 stepping me and parenting me. When it all comes down to it I only owe you one thing.........MY LIFE.
My thanks to you will be spending each and every day being the person you raised me to be and to pass on to others what you gave to me.....unconditional love. You and mom are my special angels now. You will live forever in my heart.
Love, Judy the other J daughter

 

John was taught and nourished by a inner voice.
     Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.      Matthew 7:20
        "Hello" old friend    
-Johnny O

John inspired me when I was very young. I remember hearing him speak and being touched to my core by his passion and zest for life and his reality that the sober life was worth living. I went to meet him after the meeting, introduced myself: "I am Susan, I only have 40 days, but I really liked what you said." He immediately reprimanded me in a way that I will never forget, and in a way that I pass on to every new comer I meet in AA: "DON'T you EVER say 'ONLY' when you are talking about your sobriety!" He made me realize at that moment that every singular day - indeed every hour - of my sober life "counted" and had value.
     He was a man with much dignity, grace, gratitude, and love. I will remember him forever as "a guru" (hopefully he would still laugh at that) who taught me so much about love, forgiveness, sobriety, and life.
     I am deeply saddened that he has left us all.
Susan P.

John took me aside one time and prayed with me and shared some knowledge that I needed to hear.  He was a vessel of God at the time, that knew exactly what I needed.  I wasn't quite ready to hear what he shared with me,  but I held on to it and never forgot it.  I needed to be told!
     He told me that as God's people, we never crawl before anyone, we simply pick up our mats and walk.
     When I had the courage and the strength, God allowed me to leave a relationship, of many years, that was very unhealthy for me.
     Today I am free!  Thank you John for being the beginning stepping stone of my path to freedom!
     I have learned how to be happy, joyous, and free thanks to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.
     Now I get the opportunity to grow, learn, help others, and absorb the Sunlight of the Spirit.
     I'm coming to a revelation in my life right now that is heart felt for the first time, instead of just plain HOPE:  That I am a Child of God.
     I'm still struggling with whether or not God wants to keep me unharmed.  Uncovering, Discovering, and trying to Discard.  It can be a daily struggle as more is revealed.
     My kids have learned part of the "ism" of my disease.  What took a lifetime for them to learn is not going to disappear overnight. I just need to not be discouraged, practice the principles and keep hoping that if it's possible for all of you, then hopefully it's possible for them too.  Violence in not okay!
     Yesterday I learned that I'm growing.  That God is teaching me that the brighter things in life are possible for me. 
     If  I don't know what's healthy, then how am I supposed to know the unhealthy part of me, that always seemed normal before. 
     That was all I ever knew.
     More to be revealed.
     It's a process.  Thank God for progress, not perfection.
     Thank you John and Peggy for sharing your wisdom with me,  that eventually allowed me the courage to begin the peeling of the onion, and slowly learn to know the difference.

-Michelle Osborn


A GENTLE MAN WHO TOLD IT LIKE IT IS, I WAS BLESSED TO ATTEND ONE CHRISTMAS AT THE CARNEY HOME, THE GAMES AND THE LOVE WAS ALWAYS THERE, I'D SEE JOHN FROM TIME TO TIME AT MEETINGS, IN 85 I DID THE GRAPEVINE COFFEE FOR A TIME, IT WAS FRIDAY NIGHT MOORPARK AND LEIGH, THAT'S WHERE RECOVERY BEGAN FOR ME, IT WASN'T UNTIL I RETURNED AFTER MUCH RESEARCH IN 95 THAT I WENT TO TEH SAT NIGHT LIVE, IT HAD NOW MOVED TO BLACKSTONE HIGH SCHOOL, I WAS IN SUPPORT SYSTEMS AND THAT WAS ONE OF THE MEETINGS WE WENT TO, IT WAS CLOSE, JOHN WAS ALWAYS ONE I LOOKED UP TO AND ADMIRED, I CRIED TODAY READING SOME OF THE COMMENTS, GOOD TEARS THOUGH CAUSE I KNOW JOHN IS THERE WITH MY OLD SPONSOR TOM OLSEN, THEY GOT A GREAT GIG GOING ON UP THERE I JUST KNOW IT, THERE'S TO MANY OF US OLD ALCOHOLICS THERE TO NOT, YA KNOW? ANY WAY THE MEMORIES WILL STAY WITH ME FOREVER, THOSE THEY CANNOT TAKE AWAY, THE THINGS I LEARNED THE LOVE SHARED, IN HIS HONOR AND THE OTHERS BEFORE HIM I CAN ONLY PASS ON WHAT THEY TAUGHT ME!
,AND THEY TAUGHT IT BY DOING IT.
BLESS YOU
KENNETH B KLEIN/SPORTSTERKEN67@AOL.COM
CLOVIS, CALIF.

I emailed Doug tonight regarding the memorial website to thank for his kind work.
I wanted to write something here but felt that I might pontificate to much but I do remember that John told me "Never be afraid of telling the truth"
The lineage of John Carney's recovery is an ever living thing and the "Carney Factor" will be a part of all who knew him.
I will miss John greatly but he will continue to work in peoples lives through those of us he freely gave of himself.
Big Mike in Alabama


 John took me on in 1985 after Johnny 'O fired me for being with Beverly, who was 16 at the time. He'd been my sponsor for the next 20 years. I drank after 10 years of sobriety. John was the only one who didn't turn his back on me. You can be treated like a pariah in AA when you drink with long term sobriety. But John treated me with the same love and respect he always had, like he's done for so many others.

He gave me the AA program as he got it from guys like Johnny 'O, Jack Holt, and his favorite, Chuck C. And every time I open my mouth in a meeting, something he said comes out. If you use it three times, it's yours, he used to say.

I have 7 years sober now, and just started sponsoring people again. I'd called John a few days before he died to ask him a question. Can you give me any reason why I shouldn't be as desperate today as the day I came in? He said, "I know I'd better be MORE desparate".
 
I told him that I would carry on the legacy that he taught me. He had said how he'd learned a lot from me. That was such a thing to hear from him, the man who'd been my #1 for so many years, through so many relationships, moves, jobs, therapists, attempts at working with other local sponsors. John was the best for me, of anyone, ever.

He said that last time he got sick, he'd known that he had things left to do, but didn't know what they were. Now, he said, he wasn't sure if he'd done them or not yet. He had some sense that he was about to go, and I could tell, he wanted to go to what he thought of as his father. it was truely one of the best talks we'd ever had in the 21 years I knew him.

I've never known anyone who came close to his example of this program, and I wonder if I ever will. I'm so grateful for knowing John.

I'd love to hear from any of the old people I knew at SNL back in the 80s. My information is below.
 peace
-d

Darren Littlejohn
Portland, OR
dog-matic@blacksamba.com
http://www.westsidejazzjam.com
503-788-6336

John Was one of the best examples of Practicing the principals in All of
our Affairs. I will always cherish the memory
 of His kindness and how he Peggy Always had their home open for Holliday
celebrations. God Bless You John,
 Love Morgan and Deb Hite, Greenfield MA

From Day One, John was an enthusiastic member of the Fellowship.  I remember him well in those early days because he had an incredible enthusiasm and an open heart and wasn't afraid to show it!  He was into service from the gate.  John was never "too busy" to help another alcoholic.  My life was much easier when John was sponsoring any significant other or spouse of any of my sponsees! He and Peggy were both so willing to share their home, their time, their experience and their love with any and all who needed it.  I was saddened when John moved "above" Paradise as he told me! Now I feel only gratitude that I got to know him and experience his presence on the path of Happy Destiny. John was an example of walking like he talked; with enthusiasm and confidence! I always learned something from him and continue to do so.
Pat Gallagher dos 4/01/75

I often saw John at meetings when I first got sober and he was usually asked to speak.  From the podium, I saw his beautiful spirit and his zest for life and the program.  He had great courage and compassion and I will always remember his booming voice "bringing us home".  He helped me to wamt to listen, to learn and to keep coming back and I will always hold a piece of him in my heart, My thoughts and prayers are with you, and all of us, his family, at SNL. 
-Nancy

John was one of my AA heroes.  Some may say we have no heroes, just
survivors.  But I believe heroes inspire us to do better, to reach down deep
within ourselves and grab a handful fortitude to see our lives through, in
the face of fear and doubt. Those "guts", that courage, which John had, came
from a power far deeper than most of us have reached.  Indeed most of us are
still in awe at the depth of that love and courage which he achieved and
demonstrated. Perhaps some of us think we will never be able to achieve his
depth of love and faith.  We are wrong if we believe so, for John is the
example of what IS possible, not an example of some unachievable pinnacle.
John’s exemplary demonstration and illustration of fearless and searching
moral inventory, of conviction, values and of grace under fire will always
be an inspiration to me.  When I fall prey to self pity or victimization, I
still hear John's booming voice, I see him gritting his teeth and twisting
the chain around his neck, telling me that it's no longer about me and to 
get off my ass and do something.  Thanks John.  "I Love you man" 
-- Dave D

 

Dear Pop, The past few years were hard for us, but come to think of it, so were the years you drank. Thankfully, along with the hard times, there were those wonderful moments of family stories that you shared while bbq-ing, the times you would cut my nails and tried to bribe me to stop biting them, the times I could talk with you 1:1 or just sit there with you. I appreciate having you to love and having you love me. I will miss your Roquefort dressing, your pies, enchiladas, and you.   
-Lulu

John Carney was (and still is through his lessons) a pivotal mentor for my sobriety. I will always think of Asilomar and forgiveness when I think of John. Thanks go to his family for all of his time they shared with us in recovery. Paradise has definitely lost a piece of of Heaven.
Christa Vilas

 I would like to first thank the person or persons who had this idea and saw it through.  I am one of the many people who have had their life changed as result of having known John C.  In fact he was my great grand sponsor and from almost my very first day of sobriety my friend.  He has played a part in my life for 12yrs and 11months which just so happens to be the amount of time I have been sober.  I will not try to tell any of my John C stories put you can be sure I have my share.  I will say it has always been good to know that I could count on him when ever I have needed someone to go behind the veil with me.  He was not only willing to allow me to go behind his veil but went a step farther and showed me he was willing to think outside the box.  I know him as a man who was not afraid of the truth.  He was always willing to take any idea or concept apart and talk about it with me. Our private and personal conversations over the years have always been just what I needed at !
the time.  God had John C born so that He could have one more way to save my life and bless me.  Ahhhhhh I feel better now.
Billy Mouzon  

Aside from ALL he did for everyone else. He brought wonderfully loving, giving, willing and strong children into this world- Daniel, Johnnie, Vicki, Karen, Jaki, Joannie, and Linda. My brother George would not be the awesome older brother whom I am very proud of without Linda's strength, patience, perseverance and ongoing unconditional love for all these years.
I Thank John.
I love all you guys..take care, remain in touch, safe, sane, sober & healthy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
..mary

My heartfelt condolences go out to John's family. He was an inspiration to me. I sure will miss him!
Cece Garrison- Atlanta, GA

John made me move foward in my recovery.He had something i wanted.the gift of sorbrity.When i got my 5th year chip and spoke at the poudium,he said "he findly opened up". 
CJL

I can not remember a time at Saturday Night Live when John was not a vital cog and mentor.  To me, during the 30 years and more of my attendance there, his booming voice, sometimes a boom and sometimes a thundering boom, sounded the following alarm to me.  NO MATTER HOW DRY, A LITTLE MORE SOBRIETY WOULD BE DAMN GOOD INSURANCE.
Cliff D.    Camas, WA

Although he appeared to be bigger than life at the podium, this great man was never too big to talk to, to reach out, to help, to love.  When I was on my knees, he helped me back up to my feet.  I will never forget him, and I thank God for sharing him with us while he was here.
 Gonzo

Thank you John for your unselfish efforts to carry the message to those who still suffered. You taught me a prayer a long time ago, one that you used and I use it to this day.
"Lord, make me a channel of your peace and a testimony of your good works".
Thanks for being a good example of a good example!
Love, Mary Farmer dos 12/28/88

John,
Thank you for sharing the Gift with us. My life has been enriched daily by the exemplary Spirit of your love and faith in a Fellowship so unique and universal that drunks like us could find safe haven and hope. I thank you for carrying the torch of SNL from it's inception and inspiring us with that "booming" voice of yours--daring us to reach for spiritual ideals, while keep our feet firmly planted in the Steps and Traditions of AA. John, please save me a seat in the front row of that "Meeting in the Sky" when one day, with God's grace, I too may join many of us by whose living and dying examples have saved the life of a garden variety drunk like me. May you rest in Peace, my friend.
George Melchor

Were it not for John and Peggy, I would not be sober today.  I met them at my very first AA meeting in November 1978.  It was the Saturday Night Couples meeting at Good Samaritan.  The meeting was held in the doctor's conference room.  Peggy made the cake for that meeting.  Later, I became the cake maker.  A VERY important job.  If fact, I got a speeding ticket trying to get the cake to the meeting on time!

I wasn't sure why I was at an AA meeting that first night (other than to support the HIM who obviously had a drinking problem), but I felt "home."  We were invited to go for coffee by John and we all went to what is now the Starbuck's on Camden and Hwy 17 (I think it was a Carrow's then).  We sat with John and Peggy and talked for about 2 hours (that meetings AFTER the meetings were the greatest back then!)  At the end of the night I remember asking John, "Where are you going to meeting tomorrow?  We'll meet you there."  Thank God, John went to a meeting every day.  We were introduced to some of the finest AA meetings in the valley at the time.  The HIM didn't get "it" and he drank after about six weeks.  I continued to follow John and Peggy around to meetings for my first year or so in recovery. 
THANK GOD FOR YOU AND PEGGY, JOHN CARNEY! And thank God you are together again!
Cindy Stewart

 Me and my wife knew John from SNL as a role model, speaker, and sponsor to many. We were saddened to hear of his death. I would remember birthday night in December. Me and my sponsor have our birthdays a day apart in December. My sponsor would get up and get his chip and then I'd get my chip from him. But John would be up there four or five times every birthday night. Or when he moved away, to Paradise I think, and he'd come back and growl that he would never be a visitor to SNL. I remember he mentioned that on his property there are 64 trees, and that rule 64 is "don't take yourself to damn seriously." He's in a better place now. We will all miss him.
     Lee and Charlotte Poland